Nostalgia...

So many people say to not live in the past...however I disagree with this (not entirely but in part) Your past is a HUGE part of your present. It has made you who you are and influenced where you are going...Nostalgia can be a great thing, it reminds us that at heart we are all YOUNG and VIBRANT if even just for a moment...Now the tricky part is holding onto those things in your past that make you happy and bring warm fuzzies...(not that part of your past that is like a preying demon on your present - that past needs to be left behind!)

This image of Cyndi Lauper definitely can be a big shaper of the kind of girl I was....Cyndi Lauper influenced me greatly....I wanted to never be the same as anyone else...I didnt want to dress like everyone, or look like everyone I desperately wanted to be MY OWN person....this is what I believed she embodied --- Glorius independance (hee hee)...What is your most nostalgic moment....

My moment - if I close my eyes I can still almost be in that moment...I live by a park sitting on my porch waiting for people I knew to walk by or drive by with a friend or two already on my porch, listening to our "Boom box" blasting freestyle mixes (Cynthia - change on me) it is dark outside and you could smell the hint of rain in the air...yep that is my most tangible nostalgic moment...and every now and then I close my eyes and go there and remember that on the inside I am still as young as ever!

Knowing your limitations...

As a parent we face so much societal pressure to be this "super mom" (even my "myspace" url has supermom in the name) We as women have to be this certain "type" of parent. The one that can juggle a job, shuttling children around, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, handling the bills --- all while looking well put together and fresh! Ummm yeah no that is not how my life runs...ever...Even when I had a job I did all the above while still maintaining a "fashionable" appearance but just ask my family - I was less than pleasant while doing all of this. I therefore am a big fan of "village parenting" --- where other's in your circle share the "parental shoes".
When my daugther was younger I had this in place...Friends shared running "our" children between activities and school - we planned parties together - helped cook meals - sent each other shopping needs via internet..etc...and now that I have my son we still step into each other's shoes to help out.
We all have one thing in common, my crazy friends and I - we are not afraid to say I don't enjoy doing it all and then some!
Every now and then you have to allow yourself the space to say this over and over...you have to tell yourself that it is okay to want to be more than just a mother (because in the end when you are more than a mother you are at your best of being a mother)
Thanks to Ayelet Waldman and her awesome book that allowed me to embrace this me and be proud of it!

What defines you as a parent?

So I have my latest excerpt from Ayelet's book...and I must take this and share it with all of you because it is so true that it should be the theme song for all of us struggling with our "Parental identity"...

There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent that you always imagined you'd be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature.

These words resonate loud and clear for me (now my chances of remembering this on the every day basis is quite another story). Remind yourself of this often, it makes much sense to know that your situation is your situation and those techniques offered by other parents work for THEIR situation. There is not a "ONE SIZE FITS ALL" approach!

Stay in your OWN backyard...

So I have been reading my book and contemplating it's relevance to my own life...and wanted to share with you a page of particular interest in Ayelet's book...

"Another's parent's different approach raises the possibility that you've made a mistake with your child. We simply can't tolerate that, because we fear that any mistake, no matter how minor, could have devastating consequences. So we proclaim the superiority of our own choices. We've lost sight of the fact that people have preferences."

And that right there is IT, the big IT ... we spend so much time fearing that what we are doing is wrong, checking out everyone's backyard to see how they make theirs so lush and green that we forget that their lawn goes through the same Composting procedure (the same bunch of shit we do to put it lightly) to find Their means to an end. We do not have the same family therefore our choices will be different.

AHHH the big IT, You cannot judge your parental skills against another because not everyone has the same taste in parental "sandals" if you will.

Pom Martini's and Partying Moms hmmm....

1,2 possibly 3 Pom Martini's hit the spot after a day of MOMMY I NEED, MOMMY I WANT, MOM WHY NOT!...However 4,5 possibly 6 or 7 drinks later it is all no longer relevant as the Mommy tirade continues in your head. You now find yourself trying to find situations to control and people to mother (who most likely are out drinking and running away from their own mothers) The irony of it all! It is always good to take a step back and kick up your heels with your best girl friends (even if their husbands tag along) No really they are always welcome to buy the drinks, hold the purses and keep us from falling over...they are so sweet! Being out with friends releases those feel good endorphins we hear so much about...Dancing is a way of disconnecting from mommy mode and reconnecting with ME mode...That is right I said ME...sometimes we lose the me in mom, wife and co worker and these stolen moments are selfish indeed but in the best possible way...They remind you that one day your children too will be in ME mode and you can relate to that!

Mother's Day Breast Cancer Walk

So when I take a break from being a Work in Progress I try to find something for my family to invest their time in....Ever Since my daughter was a little girl I have done the Breast Cancer Walk on Mothers' day - this year is no different...Breast Cancer is a big deal and I walk to find a cure...My children walk because I make them (hey its Mother's Day after all)

Check out my teams page and take a moment to donate your time or join our team...

http://walk.networkofstrength.org/Shades_of_Pink (copy and paste sorry)

Spongebob, snack, scream...repeat

So since i am new to this "blogging" it will be sporadic on when i post an entry so bear with me....Last night I got a chance to just "relax" that is after washing everything in the house, putting my baby to bed, wondering where my fiance was and cleaning up after the cats...yes the moment after the madness belonged to just me and only me (thank goodness my fiance was out) so i curled up in bed and did something i had not done in a long time...just relax and read and reflect....so my night ended with Waldman, Jays and G2...

and a thought about my cabinets that a girlfriend brought up to me that were not quite so organized...

The beginning...

As most people these days I find myself at home...out of work...a victim of the economic crunch and when it bit down man did it leave a blister! So what do I do with all this time off...well I moved, I cleaned (alot) spent time with my children (drove them nuts as they do me) and now well now I write...since spending so much time with Me has been such a um revelation I have begun to learn things about me that I guess I never thought of too much before...all the dreams I had, all the things I wanted to be when I grew up...and thought What Happened??? So now I write...Some may want to take this journey with me and others may say "Forget this (insert your word choice) I have enough of my own issues...I cannot promise it will be enlightening, funny or adventurous (well not on purpose anyway) but I believe at least it shows that no one is alone in their journey....

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And this is how I start my day One PBJ and Coffee at a time...because I am just a Mom...work in Progress...